A Writers Tale

Here I stand,  24, feeling less than alive... Trying to hide behind the light even though the light is exactly what illuminates the lies I tell myself, When I'm awake in a personal nightmare which is both creating a beauty beyond belief and also crushing all the beauty that had previously been, Such backwards logic, unjust thinking, You can't hide behind that which illuminates.  I once saw the world with a glimmer of hope, a belief that everything works out on the whole, I felt wonder in all shapes and forms,  Nobody was truly evil, nobody was truly as bad as the world made them seem, I was just a girl, shrouded in dreams, Of a world that may never be...  Silly of me, really...  For perfection lies between the lines of imperfection.  I see this now... There is no such thing as a more perfect world than that of which we live, I am just a girl,  a tiny insecure blim of nothingness...  And I am wishing and praying...

Blown Away Like the ocean breeze brushes past my face, My inspiration seems to float away. I stand upon this cliff edge, gazing out at the brilliant turquoise ocean before me, And I gasp at the magnitude of it all, I face the wonder of it all, And yet here I stand, in a state of anxiety… A state of overwhelm at the future of the all in my hands, The gift of entirety, is entirely too much, Or yet it seems it at this moment. I’m listening to the oceans heart beat and the sounds of the tides rolling in, Minute by minute, Hour by hour, I stand frozen by the effects of time and the sounds of every consecutive wave echoes on in my mind for what feels like an eternity, I guess an eternity of being one with the sea can only provide me with the soothing, healing purity of the most sterile and the most awe-inspiring oceans cold, Where the sea creatures which dwell at the depths of such, are beyond our understanding of what conditions are required for ...

So I've failed to do this 30 day challenge... maybe I will continue it.. but honestly it's just been taking my passion out of writing. I agree that in order to get where we wish to go in life it requires consistent work and effort, my personal struggle is in maintaining a balance in life. Knowing what to prioritise, knowing how to use my energy sparingly.... I find it absolutely amazing that people can take on so much within their days, that they can push themselves to do so much and to utilise their time so well...  Now I know, we all have the same 24 hours in a day and yet I find it amazing how we all apply ourselves differently in that time, we prioritise differently, we integrate our wants and needs within our schedules and I think maybe some of us need more rest than others...  I work around so many people in my average days and I absolutely love my job but due to my nature as a human, I do need time to process all the stimuli I am around in your average days... I am l...